When your friends start having babies, you might need to think of ways to support new moms. Having a newborn is a blissful blur of new moments. But it can also be exhausting as the parents adjust to this new life rhythm. Most new moms feel sleep deprived from night feedings and are still recovering from labor (or surgery!) making it hard to do anything beyond taking care of their newborn. Sometimes, it may not be comfortable for a new mom to ask for help or even accept it. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it or wouldn’t appreciate it! Beyond baby onesies, there is so much you can offer her that is both meaningful and needed during this transitional time.
Be sensitive to the fact that some moms may crave the presence of friends and family surrounding them, while others may want alone time to adjust. There are options for helping both types of mothers, and helpful acts are just as appreciated weeks or even months into new motherhood! These 7 ways to support new moms should get you off to a great start in giving the new moms in your life a helping hand.
1. Snack Basket
Deliver a basket of nutritious snacks that are easy to grab and eat, since hot meals are sometimes difficult to deal with in those first few weeks. It’s so nice to have some food that can be snacked on between meals and in the middle of the night! Include things like bottles of water, granola bars, popcorn, crackers, trail mix, ready to eat fruit, cheese sticks, and maybe a few sweets too.
2. Hired Help
You could certainly go over to her home and do some cleaning and help with her chores, but another idea is to hire a professional to come in. Go in with a few other people and hire someone to deep clean her house right before the baby is born, or come in for a weekly cleaning a few times in the first few months of baby’s life. Think about other household duties and hire lawn care or snow removal depending on your location and season. In the winter, make sure their porch steps or sidewalks are cleared and salted. She may be more comfortable (and have no pressure to socialize and can focus on the baby) having a professional clean rather than feeling guilty while you clean her toilets!
A box of little luxuries might make her feel a bit spoiled and give her a taste of life outside of the newborn haze. You could include things like magazines, lipstick, moisturizer, dark chocolate, a movie, gift certificate for a massage or a haircut, and some bright fresh flowers! Include a homemade room spritz that is uplifting and relaxing with a blend of essential oils to help soothe the whole family. Try this recipe for Room & Linen Spray by DIY Natural.
4. Breastfeeding Support or Bottle Duty
Whether a new mom is breastfeeding, pumping, or formula feeding – there are ways you can help! If she is breastfeeding or pumping, make sure she has a full glass of water and a filling snack (or basket of snacks!) close at hand. Give her some quiet time during their breastfeeding session or hold the baby so she can pump in peace. If she is using formula, you can be a huge help by washing all of the bottles, and prepping them with new formula so they’re ready to go for the next feedings!
5. Food Delivery
Leave a meal or a bag of groceries at the door with no pressure to socialize. Think outside of the box and leave breakfast! Bagels, breakfast bake, fruit, juice and coffee. She will be in heaven. If you’re helping from far away, ordering a box of goodies shipped right to her door is a great alternative.
6. Shower and Nap
Offer to come over and hold the baby while she takes a nice long shower or nap. Tell her she can pick the time that works best for her, so that she’s more likely to be able to relax and sleep (or so she is showering when she most needs it).
7. Listen to Her Story
If she wants to tell it, be a good listener and let her talk about her birth experience and her feelings as a new mom. It is common for women to have many thoughts and feelings after going though the experience of having a baby, so it can be therapeutic to vocalize it all! Make sure you’re supportive and comforting as she shares with you.
I am a new mom. My daughter is 1 & her dad & I are engaged. I also work full time. Can I have some advice from other mothers & wives on managing being a great mother, wife, taking care of your home (cooking & cleaning) and still finding time for yourself (such as working out) I really want to work out more! Any suggestions on how to be a superwoman & get it all done?? & are your spouses very supportive???
Just a vent: Feel like I’m all alone to raise my child. No family support and feels like I have no friends. It’s hard to make new mom friends. It’s pretty isolating. I wish I had someone around to adore my son just as much as I do.
I just have to say I love the strong community of women on this app. It’s great to see we all support one another and can give personal advice. I feel a lot more at ease as I read some other mommas questions and comments knowing I’m not alone.