Ok Smart Moms! I have a 2.5 year old daughter & lately she has become much more aggressive, bossy, yelling and having quite the attitude. She got kicked out of Sunday school 4 pushing & hitting friends. We disciplined her by taking all her toys out of her bed and she was devastated and seemed to "get it ". But the last two days at play dates she has pushed again several times and then put her hands around a little girls' neck. I was MORTIFIED. We do time outs, safe/gentle hands, taking toys away

Sammy S 0 likes

Reading books to enforce good behaviors. I stay at home with her so I know she's not picking this up from school and I limit any TV that she rarely watches. We are certainly not a violent household and I am baffled that this is how she's acting. How do I handle this?? She is normally such a sweet little girl with a big heart! When she does play with other kids I try to stay as close as possible and give her the words to speak with other kids when she's getting frustrated.

Danie M 1 like

My daughter used to do that but she'd bite kids really hard, I stopped letting her be around any kids for a while until I was sure she wasn't going to do it anymore.. Good luck

Perfectly M 0 likes

The neck thing would have me calling up a psychologist. Sorry to suggest but if there's an underlying issue like jealously or sadness or even abuse they can help you. I don't think it's normal for a kid that age to just randomly become aggressive to the point of putting their hands around somebody's neck..

Jessica B 1 like

I'd modeled and practice lots of using words to express feelings. Do you know what is triggering her to become aggressive in situations like is it things kids are saying or having to share or just being overly excited?

Ally B 2 likes

Give your daughter something to push/hit. Example, google an image of two handprints and print (make your own even better). Hang on the wall and practice pushing really hard. Talk about how the wall doesn't have feelings nor can it be hurt physically. Make a secret sign for "I feel like pushing" for her to give you. If going places, take a "stress ball", and give it to her if she gives you the SIGN. (Self-control) Model positive behavior often. Verbally reward when you see gentle hands. 💜

Sammy S 0 likes

Jessica I have noticed she gets this way when in big crowds of children and gets over stimulated. If she is one on one she's fine, especially if she already knows the child.

Sammy S 0 likes

Raven I assure you she is not abused. She is a very happy little girl, always smiling, laughing, silly. The only thing that has been different is her dad/my husband has been out of town for over a week. I will agree the sudden aggression is quite alarming. Aleksandra thank you for the awesome ideas!

Ally B 1 like

As an Early Education Professional, I say that it is NOT time to call a phycologist... Two year olds live in the world of million rules that they want to test. Samantha, don't worry too much. Is it "normal" to put hands on another person's body? Define "normal" when talking about any two year old. 😜

Ally B 1 like

Also, make sure your daughter isn't just trying to use her hands because she doesn't have the necessary words (such as "I don't like it", "I'll give you the toy when I'm done", "I want to be by myself"). Practice those words and she might not need to use her hands ;) Wish you all the best!

Sammy S 1 like

Thank you so so much Aleksandra!! I shared all your advice and we applied it with her tonight with the hands, using the right words. And thanks about reassuring me. I have to admit after I read that I was in tears about the psychologist. She is such a sweetheart and seems to not have the coping mechanisms or words and gets overwhelmed. I asked her why she pushed today and she said "I was angry and nervous because she took my dolly away" She also said she was afraid of all the kids there.

Ally B 0 likes

Samantha, knowing and talking about how she felt is a huge step! I am sure she is a sweetheart and is just learning how to safely communicate with others. Keep giving her all the love and she will share it with others, just give her the tools. You seem like a great mommy, just keep on going!

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