My SO will be going back to work and I will be alone with the LO by myself for the 1st time. Any tips or pointers from any moms that are on leave by themselves or from any SAHM on caring for a newborn? How did you deal with late night diaper changes, feedings, etc once your SO works? Do you take care of it yourself or ask the SO for help? We are planning on having my MIL over a few nights to help care for the LO; she can't sleep thru the night yet. Is that enough help or should I enlist more?

Olya T 1 like

The first couple of nights will be hard especially if SO was helping before. I had my SO home with me first 2 weeks and he would change diaper at night but that's about it. We have been home alone for 6 weeks now and it's much easier now:) I noticed that my LO doesn't really Poo at night so I only change her diaper midnight if I hear her going during a feed. She eats twice a night around 2 and again around 5. During the day especially in the beginning they sleep a lot and no matter what anyone

Olya T 2 likes

Says you prob won't be able to nap while LO is napping lol but if you can, thumbs up to you :) I couldn't do it, I always tried to do something else when she slept or just sat there staring at her😍 As for the help, I found it easier not to have anyone around, that way you can be in your own comfort zone, I personally felt more pressure when anyone except my own mom was here, all thought I did enjoy having someone respond when I spoke to them for a change lol.

Amy M 3 likes

It will be hard but that should be enough help. Have MIL help around the house. The important thing to try to do is neglect everything but the baby and yourself. Seriously. This early on they need SO MUCH (as you know) and you need to rest as much as possible. I always thought it was a joke when people said "sleep when they sleep" because that's when I could actually get things done in the house. Screw the house! Lol. Hang in there mama.

Olya T 2 likes

And last bit of advice, whatever happens try your best to not forget to eat and drink. It is so easy to concentrate on the baby and before you know it, it's 2/3 pm and you haven't had a bite to eat. If you are breast feeding it will effect your milk supply and add more anxiety that you don't need right now. Im still getting the hang of things, and this great app helps a lot. Good luck!!! Sorry for the rant :)

Olya T 0 likes

...as for SO, I try not to bother him at night because he needs to be well rested for work although it's really tempting to wake him up just for the sake of company. :P If your MIL can help with cooking and cleaning it will be helpful and will be one less thing for you to worry about

K's M 0 likes

I agree with what everyone has already said!!! Take care of yourself as much as possible or you will have a hard time taking care of your LO. My SO went babka yo work within a few days and I only focused on my LO and hit fuck and worn out quickly. Remember to eat whenever you can and keep water with you and in every room! Hopefully your MIL can do housework and stuff like that yo help you out.

Jennie A 0 likes

It's definitely rough for a while but you will get used to functioning on next to no sleep and will find your own routine in handling everything. I agree that you should take as much help as possible but have your MIL help with cooking/cleaning/laundry/etc so you and baby can bond and figure out what works best for you.

BabyRellO's M 0 likes

It's gonna be rough ... Not gonna lie! To this day my husband has been hands off. He has changed a total of maybe 6 diapers and gave one bath and our son is almost 15 months 😮. I was sleep deprived for almost a year and because I'm a transplant ... I didn't have family to help. Your schedule or routine will go to CRAP! You'll be lucky to even get your teeth brushed daily. Try to bathe when your LO is napping that's the only way you'll get it done .... Good luck mama!

Amy M 2 likes

Oh and yes, you ask your SO for help. You are a team. Just because you are at home doesn't mean you aren't working yourself to the bone! My husband and I would once in a while give each other a reprieve. Maybe once or twice a week I would get to sleep in the guest room while he took care of LO all night and vice versa. Those nights really helped keep us sane!

Marianne M 2 likes

You're going to be exhausted, but you need this time to learn and bond with your LO. I agree, have MIL help around the house, not with LO. If she's going to help no matter what, have very firm ground rules (Like "back to sleep", and always respond to LO, etc). Things were different for our parents and we've learned a lot. She may try to tell you new ways are wrong and question your decisions. That's a dangerous precedent. You really can do this. Trust your instincts.

Samantha M 0 likes

My husband still helps despite being back to work.. LO is 4 months old!

Olya T 1 like

Ohhh yes, I agree with Marianne. Parents and others will try to tell how and when to do things but that info is most times outdated. I always say, take advice from everyone and be polite but only apply the things that you want and find useful. And if MIL is there have her do things to help YOU, not LO. U need this time to bond with LO:) unless of course you feel like you need a break. And remember to have ME time when SO returns home from work or on weekends, leave the house for some pampering:)

Caitlyn S 0 likes

I did it all through the night because my SO had to get yo early he would bayh her when she got home so I could take a break. It's rough but sleep when they do leave the housework and the care if yourself . I have two mother inlaws Nd a mom and didn't have any help, gott get used to it eventually

Linsi M 0 likes

My hubby went back to traveling (gone 3-4 days/nights a week) when our twins were 3 weeks old (plus we have 2 dogs & I was recovering from a c-section). Our friends & family were all 1,500 miles away. I just stuck to a simple routine & we got through it. You'll be fine with or without help. You don't need to make elaborate meals or anything & your house doesn't need to be spotless. Your main job is to take care of & bond with your LO. You can do it :) good luck!

Kristin B 0 likes

Shower when your husband is home. Sleep when the baby sleeps!!! I swear that is how I survived. Oh and make sure you have ready to eat food :-) it gets easier!!

Brooklyn J 1 like

I did it Mostly myself , being a sahm. My husband got up at 4 am for pt and worked till 5-7 pm I knew he needed his rest and if you have only one little one then naps are easier to take but once you have two it's a lot harder ! Lol

Jennifer D 1 like

I'm a stay at home mom and I adjusted better than I thought I would! I exclusively breastfed my son every. 1-2 hours for the first few months. I was already getting up all the time so the transition was smooth!! I never asked my husband to change a diaper at night either. He needs his rest because he has a very demanding job. I could handle it on my own!!' Many women think the first year is the hardest, I actually thought the first year was the easiest!

Jessica F 0 likes

My husband and I had a pretty good deal going when out son was small. I did the night time thing but once 5 am rolled around until the time he went to work Declan was his. I exclusively pumped soy husband got up with him at his 5 o'clock feeding I quickly pumped and went back to sleep. I we as able to get about 5 hours of minimally interrupted sleep an my husband got to bond with our son. We also alternate who does the bed time rituals etc. Works for us and they have a strong bond as well!

Other Questions In The SmartMom Community

SSZ asks Hi mamas I noticed people don't post as often what happen? Is it tick tick thats got ya occupied? 😊

Sharelle R asks Hello moms I haven't Been on here in months how is everything going ?

Mandy A asks What were some must haves in your hospital bags? It's Been 6 years since I had my first baby and I was pretty young so I didn’t know what to pack. I wanna be better prepared this time. Plus I know some of y'all Probably have some good ideas of things that might not seem obvious but end up being a life saver! Lol ☺️

Download SmartMom Today