I would like opinions about how you ladies manage the holidays? My parents are divorced, my husbands parents are divorced and we have divorced grandparents but yet they all expect us to fit them in and usually they want us to see them on the actual holiday. It's really hard for me to enjoy the day because it stresses me out so much trying to make everyone happy. I feel like me and my husband should be able to start our own traditions with our son & for others to be more understanding. Thoughts?

BoyMom 4 likes

That's waaaaay too much for me! I would have my own thanksgiving at home and if they want to join, and be civil, then they are welcome

Kristine F 1 like

Start your own and if you can host your families or have the conversation that your going to have to split up the holidays and visit a different day etc...

Ali's m 1 like

I do thanksgiving for my side of the family, christmas all together at my moms house with both sides of the family (if they feel they can't get along then too bad, they won't be able to see you) and we do Easter for my husbands side of the family. It seems to really work for us

Samantha H 1 like

I'm with ya sista!! Our families are the same, I get very stressed because I don't want to disappoint anyone. Well this year I'm thinking of saying "F*** it" and getting to them when we feel good and ready (after our new family traditions). If they don't like it they can lump it(or do the 2 hour drive to come see us) we live 2 and 4 hours from ANY family it sucks.

Amy M 1 like

Wow! That is definitely too much to ask of anyone, especially with kids. It is indeed time for you to start your own traditions and ask others to come to you. If there is too much drama then alternate who is invited/ split up the holidays. You may even consider doing brunch with some and dinner with others, but make sure everyone brings something because otherwise that's way too much work! Families are wonderful and stressful- they should understand!

Melissa G 3 likes

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way :) I try to fit everyone in but we end up driving around everywhere all day and I don't feel like that's fair to my son. Also, I wish they would be ok with choosing another day that's not necessarily the actual holiday so that we could split things up. But whoever we don't see on the actual holiday seems to get offended. Also no one seems to get along that great or mesh together.

Mr. And Mrs. C 1 like

If you want to start traditions with immediate family thats your choice. They should understand

Angie E 1 like

Do it different days!! It's not ur fault they r all over the place!! Just do what you can.. Maybe even make some come to you!!!

Gina A 1 like

You shouldn't worry about everyone else. Do what makes your family happy..makes your kids happy that's what counts! :)

Guadalupe V 1 like

Do your thing at your house tell them everyone is welcome to go and leave it up t them if they want to show up or not

Masha M 1 like

Start your own traditions. If they truly live and appreciate u guys they will make the effort to be civil for the sake of your LO. After all it's about the life you are creating for your son... Hope it all works out!

Nicole F 1 like

Yes, start your own traditions and then just invite them.. Then it's up to the to see you. Not you having to do all the running and cart kiddos around.

S P 1 like

We split holidays and move days around! Actually had thanksgiving this past Saturday with my fam and will be with his tomorrow. Holidays scream stress! But being adults everyone should realize people have different needs, likes, and ideas on things. Start your own traditions, invite everyone or split days and whomever isn't in to it misses out on you and your LO. which is sad, but their loss. Time to stop worrying about feelings and make you and your hubby and LO some special memories!

Bethany C 1 like

We are going through something similar, but not nearly as complicated as you! My advice (and this is what we are doing as well) is to do your thanksgiving as usual one last time, but take the time to let each family set you see that you love seeing them, but starting next year you will be starting your own tradition. This way (hopefully) everyone knows what's coming and and can plan accordingly for next yr. If they want...

Angelica M 1 like

With divorced families like that, it's best to have the festivities at your home and have them join if they can behave. That way you aren't stressed and they all can see your family on the actual holiday. Win-win ๐Ÿ˜Š

Ashley B 1 like

I know a lot of people who swap thanksgiving and Christmas. One year they will spend time with one side if the family for thanksgiving and the other for Christmas. Then the next year swap it

Michelle A 1 like

Yes! That's exactly what I am doing having my own thanksgiving and whoever wants to come can come cause my daughter has so many grand parents great grand parents etc holidays are suppose to be fun and all about family and when you start to have your own maybe it's time to start some new traditions

Lisa S 2 likes

I agree with everyone. Let them come to you..I'm in the same boat and I made plans for everyone to come to me.

Other Questions In The SmartMom Community

Andreโ€™s M asks My son has a raw rash underneath his neck due to sweat and heat. Any suggestions or creams or anything mommy's ?

Tina P asks Hi , I was diagnosed With shingles 3 weeks back and it is on my left forehead and eye lid. Anybody here had a same case? Just wanted To know how much time it takes to recover ? I have been visiting My eye doctor and following All medication but it is soo slow recovery As of now.

SSZ asks Hi mamas I noticed people don't post as often what happen? Is it tick tick thats got ya occupied? ๐Ÿ˜Š

Download SmartMom Today