I need help! I'm so disappointed with everything about my birth. I loved being pregnant and had my all natural birth all planned out and then a plan to ebf the first year and I was so excited for labor but I ended up with a csection, never went into labor, never felt contractions, they gave me pain meds and made me keep taking them the whole time I was in the hospital, I only got to Breast feed for 6 weeks because of an infection and the worthless doctors and now I'm on antidepressant (cont)

The M 0 likes

And it helps overall during the day but certain things set me off and I just break down over everything going on and I hate myself and feel so guilty and worthless and then the one thing I'm choosing to do for my son that is different is cloth diapering and using all organic for him because he has very sensitive skin and it's just overall better and everyone makes fun of me for it. Like I just want someone to support me in my decisions and tell me I'm doing something right

S V 2 likes

I know exactly how you feel. You feel like you failed somehow. Same thing happened to me. But I had an emergency c section when I planned to have a natural birth.

Holy M 0 likes

I would say pray. Your baby can feel your energy, and he or she has your love what's the most important, love is all it matters in the end. About the antidepressant please don't take them, my husband's a dr and he is totally against it, in the long shot antidepressants would leave you with other problems as result like addiction, memory lost, short life term, and more. Best to you! I also thought I was depressed after I had my baby, but it was the baby blues, which all moms go through it... 💛

The M 0 likes

I never even got to feel contractions or be in labor they called me at 8 o'clock at night and had me come in at 10 the next morning for my c section

Stay At Home M 1 like

I had an Emergency c-section as well...my birth was planned natural, didn't happen the way i wanted it. I also wanted to exclusively breast feed. Couldn't BF bc i wasn't producing enough milk. So that went south, hang in there and enjoy your baby. Even though things didn't work out the way u planned, you're still the mother to the most important little human. Cherish what you have and look towards the future.

Carolynn V 2 likes

I'm so sorry you are going through this and feeling this way. It is so hard when you have a plan and the actual result is as completely far from your plan as possible. Kudos on the cloth diapering!! I am all for it! We have a cloth diaper group where I live with hundreds of people and the members exchange diapers, share tips and advice and offer support. Maybe try to find something like this in your area so you get some support. So sorry you are having a hard time💔 we are all here for you ❤️

Katy M 2 likes

I went through really bad depression for about two months after having my daughter. it was so bad I didn't want to even change her diapers cause she'd always cry. I felt like the most worthless person ever and like I wasn't made to be a mommy. I was all by myself and still am. and all I can say is, is don't best yourself up. you're doing the best you can and that's all you can do. your son loves you unconditionally,

Katy M 2 likes

being a mom is really hard. no one talks about these things, or warns you. you're doing everything right mama. take a breath and just know it does get better.

Tatyana B 1 like

I feel so sorry for you. You doing everything right and you being the best mommy you can be. Sometimes things don't go the way we wanted them to go. That's what I've learned with my delivery. As long as you and the baby are healthy that's what's very important. Why did doc decided to do a c-section? Were you over due? Why they didn't induce you?

Christina Z 1 like

I was there. I read all the books, planned my whole pregnancy from the start. NOTHING and I mean nothing worked out that way. From having my daughters father do horrible things to us, walking in and out. To having an emergency c section to my daughter spending a week in the NICU to not producing enough milk only got to breast feed a week at that. To gainin all this weight adjusting to doing it alone. I'm there. But just remember in the end you got the most precious gift, your child.

Erin B 1 like

What could have happened if you didn't have a c section? Your babies life depended on that. You are a mother and very strong for having to make a decision like that. I had an emergency cesarean with my oldest and I get told I took "the easy way out" it's not easy knowing your babies heart rate was dropping dramatically. It wasn't easy laying on a table strapped down shaking uncontrollably while being sliced open and having your organs moved around and not knowing if your baby will come out cryin

Chasity H 1 like

I know how you feel with the whole bf thing. my LO wouldn't latch so I had to pump and feed her a bottle and my milk was very thin and she wouldn't get full on it so I had to supplement and when she was 6 weeks old my breast pump quit working and within the 72 hours it took for medela to send me a new one I dried up. it makes me want to cry every time I have to make her bottle because I know it's not as good for her as breast milk would be

Christina Z 1 like

You're the mommy and you know what's best. Opinions are given but that doesn't mean they are relevant. Keep your head up!

Erin B 1 like

Or not. You grew a human being and now you have a beautiful child. Don't be so hard on yourself. Either way that baby is here and healthy. It will get better mama ❤️

Caro T 2 likes

Hi there I write a blog on tumblr about the subject of depression and being a mom! I swear it sounds as if I could have written your post! Please don't beat yourself up one of the biggest parts of parenting is it doesn't go as planned! If you want to take a look at my blog it's boobjob4baby and if anything maybe it'll help you not feel alone! Best wishes and luck! Know you are not alone and there are other moms who feel the same way!

Alexandra S 1 like

I went through something similar. Remember you are not alone. The hormones are crazy in the early months after delivery. Sometimes even after a year. See a doctor if it gets really bad. And I got so much crap for the cloth diapering. But people will always have opinions no matter how you choose to parent. You do what's best for your baby.

May Mama C 2 likes

I am sorry your birthing experience wasn't what you expected, but I think you should focus on the positive side, which is your baby being well and healthy. I cloth diaper and I love it, my family didn't get it at the beginning but now they comment on how much money I am saving and how much better is for the environment. Hang in there mama!! Remember we have to be strong for our little guys!!! Much love❤️😘

Mom of Boys 1 like

You did nothing wrong!! Your baby was delivered safely and that is what matters!! Plans changes, things happen, but we just have to make the best of it and be thankful that everything turned out ok. I'm sorry you got an infection and I hope that's all healed. 6 weeks is better than nothing and what matters is that you did your best. I wanted to breastfeed both my boys for a year but couldn't make it past 2-3 months if even that with either and I beat myself up too but then I realized that I did

Mom of Boys 1 like

My best and he was still being taken care of just fine through formula. As parents we have to be flexible because although we have so many hopes and desires we can't control everything and things often don't go as planned but safety and health are the most important. Be careful with antidepressants because they could cause problems too. Make sure you are eating healthy and taking vitamins (b complex vitamins are really good for when you feel down) and give yourself a break. Listen to soothing

Everleigh's M 0 likes

Please be happy you didn't feel the contractions. I was in so much pain, I cussed out my sweet grandmother. );

Mom of Boys 1 like

Music like worship music, take a hot bath, talk to friends, pray and talk to God most importantly. Recognize how important your role is as a mother and know that loving your child and wanting what is best for him makes you a good mother. It's not about giving him everything you or he wants. As long as his needs are met that's what matters. You have great purpose mama don't doubt it and don't let anyone put you down.

Angela S 0 likes

Boy, oh, boy! I can relate to this!! Had to have emergency c section after being induced because my ds was in distress. When he was removed, he wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating. I started hearing them count 1 2 3 for compressions. They put me completely under to keep me calm. Came home after a week in NICU - it was awful. I've been diagnosed with post-partum PTSD. I'm now on meds and not BFing. You are not alone and you are a great mom! Hang in there! Prayers!!

The M 0 likes

That's another thing I know you don't mean anything bad but I hate when people say oh be glad you weren't in labor or feel contractions cause they hurt like of course they hurt that's just part of having a baby and I wanted to experience the pain and work for it to get my little boy here instead I laid numb on a table and never felt a thing

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