Hallee M Thu, November 13th
I know most the questions on here are from women who are already moms, however I'm not due until February. I'm hoping you can still help :) my mom is throwing me a baby shower but after a few conversations, or well disagreements, she has made me feel selfish. Like I'm inviting too many people. Or doing a diaper raffle is too much to ask for because I'm now expecting that the girls bring gifts and their spouses bring diapers. Then when I went to get registered it seems my list is too long :-/
Hallee M 0 likes
Am I being too selfish or expecting too much? Should I cut down my registry? Or not put big items on there? Or not do the diaper raffle?
Linsi M 1 like
Don't worry about what she thinks. It's not like you're expecting to get every single item on your registry. As long as you have items in every price range you're fine. Not sure what a diaper raffle is or why a spouse would be required to bring anything at all, but this is your baby. If she has so many issues with the way you want things done maybe she shouldn't be the one to throw the shower and one of your friends or other family members could do it
Jules M 0 likes
No you are not being selfish. It's good to put everything you want on your registry that way people have a lot to choose from. People will only get what they can don't worry about that. Most people tend to buy clothes anyway. I love the diaper raffle idea. Just ignore your mil this is your party! People like to give gifts for babies enjoy it!!
Katie B 2 likes
It's your shower... My list was like 20 pages long. You're excited, that's not selfish. Keep your list how it is.
Mama D 1 like
Don't worry about her opinions ! This is your time :) so what if you have a big list ! That just gives people more options to choose from! Personally my husband and I had separate "partys" I had a baby shower where it was all women And he had a diaper party where it was all men ( in order to get in the door the other men had to show up with diapers ) There's no shame in asking the men to bring the diapers. You'll need them! :) just ignore her comments and do what you want to do
Hallee M 2 likes
That helps a little thanks guys. Yeah I am doing just one party and wanted in to be coed, so I was trying to mix the two and have the guys bring a pack of diapers if they wanted to enter a raffle. And there are plenty of small things on the registry for sure like pacifiers and bibs and so forth. I had another new mom join me and she basically picked out everything she thought I really needed which was nice
Clare B 1 like
Yes baby showers are all about you and your baby!!! .. Not your mom. You do what you want and make it BIG because you will remember it forever and it will be one of the most special days in your life! So live it up and make it big and register for everything because.. YOU WILL NEED IT an that's what baby showers are for. Stuff u need. Have fun girl!
Alysha B 1 like
I don't think you're selfish. Of course you want to share the joy of your baby shower with many people. Is there a problem having enough room for everyone? That is something to consider. You absolutely should put a variety of gifts on your registry including big items. If someone wants to buy one of those, they should know what you like & a registry doesn't force anyone to buy what's on it. A long list gives people lots of ideas! I can't say anything about the diaper raffle-I'm not familiar.
Jennifer M 0 likes
It's better to have a big registry because your guest will have more options. I was registered with BuyBuyBaby and once the shower is over if there is still anything left the store gave me 10% off anything that was still left plus you will still get gift cards from people who don't give gifts. Plus if you have to return anything it's saved on your registry.
Jennifer M 0 likes
The diaper raffle is a great idea! My price was a $25 Macy's gift card since I was asking for them to bring another gift. It has saved me so much from buying diapers. It's a big expense to have a baby and everyone who cares won't mind helping.
Meagan W 1 like
Make a big list prices ranging all over. My mom made me feel so weird about a shower that I didn't even have one. Grrrr. Luckily my best friend brought me like 10 different types of diapers for me to try with my baby and some toys and clothes.
Brandis G 1 like
No. I think every baby should be celebrated! If you have a lot to choose from, people can pick something in their price range. It also gives people the option to go in on a more expensive gift with someone else. But don't expect to get everything you want.
Danielle T 1 like
A registry is a wish list, there's a high chance you won't get everything. She should calm down! It's your party!
Risa G 0 likes
Don't feel bad, I didn't register anywhere but now I regret that & as for the diaper raffle... Is it the same as a pamper party? I did something similar for my SO so the men brought diapers. This is one of the occasions that People will be more then happy to help with whatever you ask or need from them :)
Heather C 0 likes
Best thing to do is make sure you've got items on your registry in many price ranges. People will buy what they can afford and are comfortable with, and everyone would rather have an idea of the things you'd like. Don't worry, a baby shower is supposed to be a happy exciting time!!
Just One Moms O 0 likes
It totally understand your frustration, but with all due respect to your mom this is your experience and you have the right to have the type of baby shower that you desire. This is not an everyday event and it's a special time for your baby as well as you to both be showered with gifts that you will not only need but want!! Of course be respectful yet firm with your mom on your wishes and go for it!!
Taneesha W 1 like
I did a diaper raffle and it was great my daughter is 2months and I haven't had to buy her a pack of diapers not once so u should do it as long as it's not something mandatory just something fun to participate in and the gift should be really nice.
Katherine T 1 like
I did a diaper raffle along with a registry and I would do it again. We had diapers for 4 months!!! Not everyone brought diapers people can always choose not to get both a present and diapers.
Becca F 0 likes
Not selfish at all! And register for EVERYTHING! Most places send you a coupon for a certain percentage off of the things left on your registry! So even when I knew people would buy it I registered so I can buy it with the coupon.
Fergie B 0 likes
I did both now everyone brought diapers but most people did I do to think it's ride at all it's not like you are saying if you want to come you have to bring stuff! If you registry is really long I would recommend shortening it so that you are only getting things you really need. Take off all clothes because people that buy clothes will just buy what they want anyways.
Marianne M 0 likes
First, just because it's on your registry doesn't mean you're going to get it. And second the registry is a list of things you think you want or need. You'll probably end up buying a lot of them yourself, and the stores sometimes give you a discount on your registry items. It's good to give people options in various price ranges and they can buy something you need that fits their budget. It's a win-win really.
Lisa M 0 likes
Its YOUR baby shower..I think your ideas are great. People love buying gifts for new parents and new babies. You have enough to worry about in the coming months, try to enjoy your shower :)
Aprilbaby 0 likes
I never liked the diaper raffle bc it does seem like a lot to ask. Bring a gift and a pack of diapers. But to each their own. As for people to invite that's personal choice. I didn't invite every person I knew to mine. Just those who are actively part of my life and would be for my child. Not just any and everybody. Registry keep that list long girl! Most places you get coupons and discounts to purchase anything left on registry once baby is born. The more items just gives your guests more
Mr. And Mrs. C 0 likes
Its your shower. If thats what you want so be it.
Aprilbaby 0 likes
Options to choose from an stay within whatever price range they wanted to. It isn't like your saying I registered for 100 things I expect to get 90 of them. Plus people won't know how many people you have or have not invited to your shower. So leave what you want on your list.
SSZ 0 likes
Shame on your mom, this is your time and having a baby is a precious time, her telling you your selfish is inappropriate. Good luck!
Samantha M 0 likes
It depends. Your mother is throwing it for you? She's probably paying for the entire thing, food, drinks, decorations, and prizes if there is games. And then the games, plus a gift for you. I don't think your selfish but need to see things from her point too. Your registry is fine I'm sure. Just find a common ground with her.
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