I know it's a sensitive topic, but how do y'all feel the best way to consequence/discipline your child is? My mom didn't raise me as well as she should've. She would just hit us until we stopped crying and that's not something I ever want to do to my son. I'm just really scared of being a bad mother. Please give your opinions, no judgement here! ❤️

Miss. L 3 likes

Time out would be best but if your child does something horrible like try to take your car (my SO and his brothers did this when they were still in car seats) then you should give them a spanking but time out is best

Momma K 3 likes

What age group?

,....... . 3 likes

I don't believe in spanking. How do you teach a child not to hit with more violence ? When my 3 year old throws a fit , I re distract her, tell her why she can't do what she wants or have whatever she is throwing a fit for , and if that doesn't work I resort to a time out. I told her she needs to use her words. Always explaining stuff to her has worked. I may re evaluate her punishment when she is older .

Courtney 6 likes

How old ? I was beat on growing up so I will never do that to my son I will pop him on the butt firmly if he won't listen after the 3rd time when he's older (2-3) Right now he's 5 months and doesn't understand yet I don't think so it's okay but once he can form words and express himself in a positive or negative way then I know he's ready to be disciplined I will be using time outs , calmly talking to him and fully explaining why this is his consequence , how long it's for ect.

Mrs. H 2 likes

I'm hoping to use the approach my mom used with me as a toddler - she always told me she got her bluff in early & rarely had to spank me. Whatever you decide to do, consistency is key. I will only use spanking as a last resort, and never with intentions of hurting lo, just to really get their intention & let em know I'm serious.

Z's MOM❤️ 4 likes

Hey mom!! I feel your pain! I was raised in a country in which everyone was allowed to hit you in order to discipline!! From teachers to grands to strangers!! Daily I pray for patience understanding and to be. A good mother! Try talking , listening and loving a lot!!! Time out is a good way!

Claudia 1 like

I'm sorry I should've added the age. Anywhere from 2-6 years old. (Since those seem to be the more troubling ages)

Jen M 1 like

Good for you breaking the cycle!!! It's hard but you're such a good mom to do it. Look up "aha parenting", positive discipline, and the books Toddler Discipline Without Shame and Playful Parenting. Good luck, and remember there are so many others right there with you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Miko J 2 likes

I was beat as well and I was just wondering why she kept hurting me. Made me sad then very angry. I'm happy to see that you want to choose a different parenting style. I don't believe beating, especially the way I was beat is parenting at all. I turned out fine because The Lord Jesus was protecting me. I would call on him & she stopped one time &walked away. I didn't end up fine because of her beating me, I had a good heart, period. I had many dysfunctional emotional challenges to break through.

CiCi's M 1 like

Time out, take toys away, positive reinforcement,

Adelle S 1 like

For my boys we did the 1-2-3 Magic program. You can google it. My oldest has behavioral issues and this worked really well. Essentially when they are doing something they shouldn't you count them 1,2,3 and if they haven't stopped before 3 they get a time out for their age (2yrs-2 mins). You have to be consistent so even if your out they can have time out wherever you are we did lots in Walmart. If they move or goof around in time out, their time starts over. Good Luck you are a great mom!

Mommy Of T 3 likes

I don't like spank hard but I do swat them on the butt if there doing something there not suppose too also timeout in the corner is good one or you could also take away there favorite toy

Flower U 1 like

Well since every one is different and also children act different. I'm trying no tospacking my kids they are 5yr,4yr and 18 mths. They are good kids but sometimes I'm a lil stressed out. I tell them one or two timesif they don't listen theyget punished by going to there room or not having what they like.My kids love to be outside running and ride there bikes so if they do something they can't go out side if they behave bad and we go to the storeI don't buy them anythingbasically that works more.

Mommy Of T 2 likes

Also when doing timeouts I do it for how old they are so my 4yo gets 4mins my 2yo gets 2mins

Flower U 1 like

Other times when I'm stressed out I do spank them. But with the hand in there but other i let there dad get in charge.

Miko J 0 likes

I was 5 or 6 teachers in DC was allowed to hit on our hands with rulers for not listening or forgetting homework. My memory was horrible, I couldn't focus very well in school. I didn't have much food to eat at my aunts where I stayed. Teachers didn't seek to understand what the cause was of a distracted child. It wasn't because of disobedience all the time or bad behavior. One time I was terrified watching a kid being held in the air by the wrist being beat with a yard stick crying his eyes out.

Erika 2 likes

I've been a kindergarten teacher for many years. Going back in August :( def hitting is a no no for discipline. I've always been praised for my classroom management so this is what works for me. Consistency!!! Have clear routines and expectations. Praise praise praise!!!! Focus on the positive instead of the bad. Instead of saying don't do this and that praise and say thing like: wow I really like how you ... It makes me feel happy/proud when you... Is very kind of you to do ... Cont...

Erika 2 likes

Reward chats. Put one on your fridge and work towards a goal. Once your LOs reach they goal follow though. Take them to the park, movies, special treat for dinner (no need to buy toys that's not the point) Cont

Erika 2 likes

Keep in mind that young kids don't have the language to express their emotions. Feeling and language are on different parts of the brain and they are still building those connections. Something kids misbehave cause they don't know how to say what they are feeling. Tired, sad, hungry. Help them with that. If they are having a bad day ask them how they are feeling or have them draw it for you and empathize! For time out you could Have a thinking corner for them to reflect/draw and then discuss it

Alison P 1 like

What I've always done is take every fun thing away. And I mean everything. When they start to behave better they can get one thing back. Depending on how bad they are is how long I keep the toys (hours-days). Before that though I give 1-2 warning so they know. I've had to do that once for each topic and they never did it again or they only needed one warning before it was stopped.

Kierstyn H 1 like

I don't believe in scaring your children into being good. hitting or "spanking" them or even threatening to will just make your kid scared of you and you don't want that. trust me, that will stay with them forever and they'll just resent you.

Momma K 2 likes

I believe in spanking but as an absolute LAST resort when everything else has failed. I also believe that if you do spank them, don't just send them off. Talk to them and let them know why they got spanked and help them find better ways to handle situations. I'm all for positive reinforcement. If my step daughter isn't listening I'll say something like "Well bummer. We could've played at the park longer but you weren't listening. Maybe next time." It allows them to reflect on what they did.

Mariah N 2 likes

My goal is to teach my child, not to punish them. My first go to is a natural consequence for their actions if there is one. Second I believe in asking them their opinion on how to handle a situation so I know they understand how things work (you hit your friend. What do you think you should do?). Also I will NEVER use the phrase "because i said so". I should have a reason for everything that I can explain. Just a few points I believe in 😀😀

Mom Of 5 1 like

Time out works pretty well for my kids. We do spank but it's very rare, only if they can seriously hurt themselves or someone else by their actions.

Other Questions In The SmartMom Community

Erica M asks So my 5yo boy, has been dying to spend the night at his cousins house. Her grandparents Have custody Of her. But I just don't feel comfortable Allowing him to go I fee uncomfortable Send him with anyone that comes from dads side of the fam why idk. Idk why I only trust my family.

Kay K asks Hi mommies, I just have one quick question. I am going to be 40 in January, I’m so scared to have another baby. I already have two kids and I want one more. I had two C-sections. Do you think I should be scared or just go ahead with it?

Elizabeth S asks I just found I am pregnant I have 7 yr old and 8 Month old how do you protect your belly from the 8 month old from kicking or hitting gentle ?? I'm Only 4 weeks .

Download SmartMom Today