Intimacy After Baby - SmartMom

How To Reignite Intimacy After Baby

If there’s a newborn in your home, chances are it’s been awhile since you were intimate with your partner. For one thing, a new baby can be very time consuming and for another, your body has undergone a lot of changes and you are still healing. Most doctors recommend waiting 6 to 10 weeks after labor to have sex (longer for those who have had a C-section), but once you’ve been given the green light there are several ways to bring back the spark and enjoy intimacy after baby.

1.) Keep it simple. If you’re in the mood for intimacy before the 6 weeks healing time has passed, you can enjoy sensual kisses and extra loving cuddle sessions. Even after you’ve been given the “OK” for sex again by your doctor, if you do not feel 100% up to going all the way yet, that’s fine too. You can pleasure each other and enjoy heated make-out sessions until you’re ready. 

2.) Ditch the bed. The couch, the coffee table, the kitchen counter, even the floor are all great spots because they are anywhere but the one spot where all you want to do is fall asleep. By choosing places other than the bed, you are more likely to be alert and mentally present as well as physically. Keep in mind that even if you are tired, a good romp can be energizing!

3.) Manage your pain. Some women are shy about having sex after baby because they are worried about the pain. Lubricants can significantly help reduce any discomfort especially if you are experiencing vaginal dryness. You can also experiment with different sex positions until you find one that feels most comfortable. Positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration are often best during this time. And, if you’ve had a C-Section, you might want to consider positions that put little or no pressure on your wound. It might still be a little tender even after it has healed.

4.) Make it a priority. It can be argued that keeping a healthy relationship with your partner is just as important as other priorities such as keeping the house clean, exercising and eating healthy. Schedule it if you need to, but a sporadic love making session can be extremely sexy and even more meaningful. Aim for making time while the baby naps.

5.) Compliment each other. You might not feel like your sexy self yet but let your partner know you think he is hot.  There’s a good chance he might not be feeling sexy these days either so a compliment can really go a long way. After a dry spell of intimacy it is extremely important to remind each other that you are still physically attracted to each other.    

5.) Have fun. Remember when you were first dating your partner and how you felt around each other?  Those butterflies? Try to rekindle intimate and loving feelings by playing and having fun. There is nothing sexier than not taking yourself too seriously.

 

RELATED QUESTIONS

When did you start having sex again with your SO after baby? Should it still be painful 2 months after delivering? I want to be intimate but it’s physically painful still 🙁
Sorry if this is tmi.

Hello Moms, I’m just wondering how many of you had a hard time rekindling your relationship with your husband or partner once baby was born? How long did it take before you could become intimate again?

It’s been 6 months since I had my son. I had an episiotomy done, long story short, stitches came undone, got a really bad infection and well I still have yet to have surgery to fix the problem… That’s not the problem though… I don’t feel like being intimate with my husband. Is it just me? Or did any one else not want to have intimacy after having their baby?

“How do you guys reconnect with your spouses? Date night is out of the question. We find ourselves too stressed and I think my birth control is keeping me from being ‘as’ intimate as I was before. Irritable and tired all the time. He works a ton, it’s kind of hard to have a sexual relationship. Work is his number one since he’s the only one bringing in the bacon. I feel like I’m neglecting him because I’m always with the baby and we only talk about work. I just want him to feel loved.”

Hope this isn’t TMI but has any one else experienced a distance between you and your significant other since giving birth? My baby is 2 months old and my hubby treats me like he never wants to be intimate again with me and it really hurts my feelings. I try to kiss him and he pushes me away. I was 120 before I got preg. I was 178when I gave birth and I’m now 134lbs so I don’t think it’s a weight issue.. Any ideas why he’s being this way?

“Kind of a personal question. Do any of you moms share your bedroom with your baby? If so how does your partner feel about having intimate relations with you while baby in crib sleeping?”

Tmi!!! Lol but I am almost 3 weeks pp and time seems to go so slowwwww just on the sex fact. Ever since I was like 7 months pregnant my husband didn’t really wanted intimacy with me because he thought he hurt baby.. I would be the one asking for it instead of him. 3 MORE WEEKS TO GO!! Did anyone else felt this way?

Not a question regarding my baby, but more me. Im almost 4 mo pp and still have not been intimate with my husband and nor do I have any drive to be. I know he is frustrated and I feel really bad. Any others experience this?

Any other mommies notice a lack of intimacy after baby was born?

I’m 31 wks prego and been having problems in the bedroom. My boyfriend and I live together and are having our first baby (boy). We use to be very intimate and now I can hardly get him to make a move. He’s affectionate, caters to all other needs but doesn’t try to get intimate with me. I try to initiate it but getting turned down so much or looking silly in a lil outfit has made me close off. When he is ready it’s rare, like once every two weeks. Will it get worse, is this normal, can I do something?

 

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