Everyone feels angry from time to time – it’s a normal human emotion for both parents and children. But what happens when your child’s anger turns into something more? What happens when your child’s anger causes their behavior to become out of control or aggressive? It’s important to learn how to handle kids who are out of control. Here at SmartMom we’ve explored the causes of these angry emotions and ways to help your child handle their anger in a positive way.
Often the child’s aggression isn’t deliberate and is down to the fact that they can’t find the right words to express how they are feeling. This can leave them feeling frustrated and likely to lash out with out of control behaviour. Handle this by helping them to work out how they are feeling. Ask them questions to try and get to the root of the problem such as “what is bothering you?” or “why did you think you felt like that?”. If you want to try and handle their behaviour then you need to teach them how to label and manage their feelings. Especially anger.
Likewise if you want to learn how to handle children who are out of control then you need to watch for triggers. Try and work out if there is anything in particular that causes your child to behave in the way that they do. Be careful yourself how you react when they do act out of control. If you act in a similar aggressive manner then your child will learn from you that this is acceptable behaviour during stressful times. And when the child is being good make sure that you always show them attention and make them feel special. Children need to know they are loved and so don’t harbour any grudges based on their previous out of control behaviour as this is likely to make their bad behaviour continue.
Another great way to handle a child who is out of control is to have a goal to work towards together. Use a rewards chart with stickers as a way of recognising what you are achieving together. Positive feedback is important so praise your child’s efforts when their behaviour is good in order to build up their confidence and encourage them to behave better.
If your child’s behaviour is completely out of control and you are struggling on how to handle them then it really is important that you operate a zero tolerance policy when it comes to aggression. Be consistent and make it clear that you will not tolerate their out of control behaviour in any way. Make it a steadfast rule that any aggressive or out of control behaviour is strictly banned.
Many parents also promote the idea of limiting video games or television time when handling children who are out of control. When they see violence or aggression on a screen they are much more likely to emulate said behaviour. Use these things as a tool in handling out of control behaviour by choosing the right story books and television shows.
Finally if you have explored every avenue when it comes to handling your child’s out of control behavior and are not getting anywhere – it’s worth seeking further help. Constant hostility, disobedience or defiance can be a sign of a behavioural problem. Something you may not be able to handle by yourself. Children who behave in an out of control manner can take their toll on loving parents who only want the best for their child and begin to feel growingly frustrated and isolated as they try to handle their child’s aggression. Neither of you should have to suffer alone so seek further advice if you think you need it.